Into the mind of intense

If you don't like posts like a diary you will want to change course and surf elsewhere tonight. This is for my memory.

It is an absolute fact. I am an intense person. I am fully aware of it. I also think it is unhealthy......well at least a part of it. So I am writing for my own good to understand it better, so maybe I can make some changes and drop the negative side of it. First what is good about my intensity?:

1) I am extremely passionate about what I do.
2) I am a visionary, one who believes in possibility, especially as a Christian. I don't believe in a sadistic God that holds a carrott before us to get us to jump only for us to never reach it. Vision comes for a reason.
3) I am one who will not hesitate to take action. I understand that if action is not taken then there is no result. Movement does not occur unless we move....(Flag this one as a part of the negative side too though....deal with this in a minute).

I could go on but that is the main part of the positive side of my intensity. Now a look at the darker side...areas I need to change. In short this all really has to do with how it relates to other people. I am quite comfortable with my passion and chasing it. It's how it relates to others where the problem comes in.

1) Just because I have a passion for a particular thing does not mean people have the same passion
2) Just because I have a vision does not mean other people can see it or understand it or even believe it.
3) Even though I want to take action on vision....others could care less about it.
4) Even if I do find like minded people it does not mean that they go about the same ways of carrying out as I. It does not mean they don't care. I know I am a very impatient individual. It was funny that today my manager (who is a very close friend) mentioned how impatient I am. I see something needs to happen and I want it handled not in a minute but now. Really I am not as bad with this as some think, just misunderstood. I don't think they understand #3 on the positive side and how important I think that is. What I need to learn is that as important as many things might be that does not qualify for the immediate when it comes to my actions. Its just I have spent many years watching things happen over and over and never changing. Its just in the last few years I have gotten absolutely sick of no one doing anything and have figured well...I guess I must do something. Of course that does not work either.

Now I understand that what I have mentioned is very common sense to many but for whatever reason down the road I accepted some paradigms that blind me to some common sense. Why do I think this? I really don't know. That is what I am trying to understand so maybe I could change it. Because there is no reason to get frustrated like I do over what happens around me. That I do know. That I must change.

The answer is not.....for me to not care....
The answer is not.....for me to can my visions.....as a person of faith that would be an insult to God.
The answer is not for me to run off and seek like minded people......I am surrounded by them in many ways already...

I need to find the right questions here so I can get better answers.

Maybe I should ask:

What do I need to do with my vision?
How can I channel my passion or intensity in a way that promotes good social interactions with others?
What is the best way to drive a stake in the ground and see things through without needing the stake driven now?

I am not done with this. More later. This is good for now. Progress. Later.

I am getting back to work. My guitar misses me.

Randy