Set like a flint

If you are easily offended by bad language click away from this blog now.

This is a post I put into the private forum among my guitar buds. I am putting it here for my own memories and future reference.

Not all bad occurences are bad.

When my files got corrupted for my initial tune that sucked. But when I decided to do an instrumental rock track that opened doors that I have needed to break through for a long time. I guess you can say in many ways I have built a style around my limtations. Don't get me wrong...I like jazzy, ambient, new age stuff, but that is just a part of me. Its not all I want to do.

So anyway I am working on this rock tune which will be called Catalyst. I find myself running into the walls that have discouraged me in the past. Before I just went another way out of frustration. Not this time. I am doing this fucking song. It will submit it. It will be just this: a picture of where I am at now. And I guess for the first time or one of the few times, this is alright with me because I am learning. I will learn this process. I will keep experimenting, make new distinctions, make improvements. Where I am in June with the tune will be where I am at in June. That is it.

It will be much farther than I am now. And it will be much farther than I have ever been.

To think I would walk in the MCMP and everything will just change is bullshit. Not that I thought that going in but I guess sometimes I get caught up in the timeline and expectations get all twisted.

No when this MCMP is finished I tell you how I will walk out. Better than I was when I started and more armed with the tools to grow. So will I get a lot of benefit from doing this CD if its not perfect? More than the money could ever buy any other way.

Nina

Sometimes I think God will put people on our minds for a special reason.

Last night before the Reds game between 6:30-7:00 or so...I cant exactly remember, Nina was on my mind very heavy. For whatever reason I felt impressed to look for her. I did not see her so when I got home I jumped on the internet and started googling.

Most who know me well know about a time I spent in drug rehab as a teenager. To express the impression that whole experience left on me can't really be explained in words. There is just too much there and there always will be. Anyway Nina was my foster mother at that time. I did not live at home then. Nina led me to Christ 18 days after I entered rehab January 17, in 1984. I can remember sitting in her kitchen talking and she explained things to me. I can see it clearly in memory.

I kept in touch with Nina after rehab (January 25, 1985) until I started into college. I pretty much lost touch with most people from rehab then.

So back to googling.....I did not find Nina but I ran into a web page dedicated to reuniting people from the rehab.....evidently there is someone there that saw my post and is going to try and locate her through his church where she goes. Hopefully they find her. It would be good to catch up. I have a feeling it will be a very good talk. There are some cool things happening these days for me spiritually. Without going into detail lets just say miracles. Pretty cool stuff.

Peace,
Randy